china trip : forever phebe day

It was a very emotional day, in every way. Full of nerves, happiness, sadness, love, joy, worry - at times my emotions completely overwhelmed me.

We arrived at the Civil Affairs office early, only to walk through the door and see our little girly, sitting on a big bench, waiting for us. She and the two ladies from the SWI office had taken the long 3 hour (public) bus ride there, that morning. Sweet little Phebe, not being used to travelling, had thrown up over herself and one of the ladies. Poor little baby girl.

She was shy and timid and very fragile - exactly what I expected. And her sobs were almost muted - she had the softest cry I've ever heard. Hearing her cry, made me cry.

Lilah was so so excited to see her sister, in fact, she'd been awake from 3am! And she was bouncing off the walls singing songs about her sister, shouting at the top of her lungs, "It's Phebe Day!" I honestly couldn't believe it, she was more amazing today than I ever dreamt possible. I only had Phebe on my knee several minutes when Lilah was asking if she could hold her - I couldn't deny her that! She sat and fed Phebe snacks and rubbed her back. I could just tell, from their interaction, that they'd be friends for life. We couldn't have been more proud of our biggest girl - she truly was born to be a big sister.

We came back to the hotel room and our guide (Amy) told me I should bath Phebe and change her clothes right away, because of the sour milk smell. It was hard for me to do this... I felt like I was washing away everything she'd ever known... the smells, etc. It hit me hard, because I could tell how upset she was when I first removed her shoes.

She is very possessive about everything and she certainly has a right to be. I was explaining to Lilah earlier, how everything she has ever known was taken away from her in an instant, this morning, which is why she is having a hard time letting anything we give her go. Everything Lilah gave her, she wanted it all, but she couldn't hold it all - it was heartbreaking. We had to tell Lilah to go easy on the amount of toys and things she was giving her.

Lilah fed her noodles for lunch. They both had a nap. We took a few walks outside. They shared snacks together, again. We ordered in supper. And finally, I changed her into pajamas at bedtime... suddenly, in the blink of an eye, her personality changed. The shy-timid-fragile-limp-sad little girl we had seen all day, suddenly changed! I took her to the mirror to show her that she and her sister had matching pajamas. Well, she started looking at herself, touching the mirror and chattering! And shortly after, she started walking around, exploring, checking everything out - especially the carpet, my oh my, did she ever examine the carpet! And then she started giggling at some of our funny antics! By the time she was ready for bed, a happy spicy girl was fully emerging! She came through so much today, more than we'll ever understand... we are so proud of her. We love her so incredibly much.

I just want to say thank you for the comments you've been leaving and also the prayers - they've meant so much to our family.
Please continue to keep us all in your prayers...especially little Phebe.

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[ the flickr set is here ]