i love her... in a huge way

Just a few short posts ago, I was writing about attachment and how little Phebe was having a hard time opening her heart to me.

There was a fear in her eyes. I knew she was connecting me with something from her past and I knew it wasn't easy for her to let another Mama into her life. I'd read books and articles and blogs on the subject. I understood the theory and why this was happening. But it was still a hard pill to swallow. Rejection is hard. Especially when you love that little person so very much.

I can hardly believe in the two short weeks we've been home from China, that things changed so quickly for us. We spent a lot of alone time together and now she plays, hugs, kisses and has opened her heart, to trust me and to receive the love I have for her. Which is huge. Especially for a little two year old that has been taken away from everything. And the only lady she ever knew, to be her Mama.

On this Thanksgiving weekend I can't help but think about the rejection our Lord Jesus faces on a daily basis, from this world. Even though His love for us is huge, so huge that He died for us. He died for ME. He bore MY sin. The rejection of my new daughter was a tough lesson for me... but looking back, I do honestly feel blessed in a way that I never thought possible. Blessed that the Lord has opened my eyes and given me a little insight into His love for us, the children he created, even in the face of rejection.

1 John 4:
10) Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
16) And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
19) We love Him, because He first loved us.

Thank you Lord for the many lessons on this path that you've lead us. I wouldn't change a single minute of this incredible journey.